My sweet husband and I were trained how to administer a “disease modifying drug”. The injections weren’t horrible. I didn’t mind the needles so much. Each night after the children went to sleep and the house was quiet we would pull out the supplies, open my daily journal of shot records and figure out which “cheek”, leg, arm, or side of stomach to hit. We were actually getting good at it. I just never had peace about taking the drugs. Never. We had complications getting the medicine shipped to my house and I kept feeling like I was supposed to tell them not to send it! The meds we were using were all samples from the doctor’s office-THOUSANDS of dollars worth of drugs so that I would stay on them. I was put on them without my understanding of what was being injected into me and then continued doing it because someone told me that was what I was “supposed” to do.
As time went on I continued to regain my ability to walk but the pain increased greatly. My body couldn’t handle the desert heat of June. I would walk with my walker into the grocery store and tears would form in my eyes because my legs felt like wicked, spastic spiders were crawling up and down them causing great pain. The pain kept increasing with the heat. I would walk upstairs to put my babies to bed for naptime and the pain would hit me so hard I would fall on the bed clinching my fists and crying out to God to take the pain away. My seven year old hero would say, “Mama, do I need to call 911? Do I need to call Daddy?” I would say through slobber and boogers and sobs, “I…don’t…know……. I… don’t… know…..Just… pray… with… me.” And he would. He would move the fan so it cooled me down and my five and seven year old boys would pray with me. Some days, I’d fall asleep right on their bed when my body cooled down. Most times, I’d muster up the strength to read to them whatever novel we were pressing through. Our favorite is the Chronicles of Narnia series. And then I’d fall asleep on their bed because my room was too hot.
I finally hit a breaking point with the medicine. I wasn’t doing any better. The steroids and God-prescribed-physical-therapy (getting off my rear and moving) are what helped me to walk again. On top of all that, we were having troubles getting slimmer areas of my body injected without leaving bruising. Then lumps under my skin started to form. This is common with this particular medicine.
The decision had to be made.
Do I defy doctor’s orders and take myself off medicine?
Do I try another medicine?
Paul wrote, “Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you seems to be wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, ‘He catches the wise in their own craftiness’; and again, “The Lord knows the thoughts of the wise, that they are futile.”1 Cor. 3:18-20
God says, “My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways, for as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.”
We prayed A LOT and we felt lead to go a more natural route to combat this disease. I defied my doctor’s orders because I believe that God created our bodies to heal. I believe my God can heal me in one millisecond but I also believe He gives us food as medicine. I’ll share more on that next time.