A rush of emotions comes flooding over me with every neurology appointment. This week it was the dreaded MRI follow up and news. It didn’t start out well when the doctor shared that I had six plaque spots in 2013 and the most recent MRI taken in June shows that I have TWENTY. I experienced a sudden desire to melt into tears.
She quickly explained that this recent MRI was done with better technology and was able to “cut” into more depths of my brain than the last MRI. We really don’t know how many of these twenty were there in 2013. The radiologist was able to confirm that I have not had any recent relapses/no new scars. And this was very pleasant news.
This darling and gift of a Neurologist proceeded to break down where the damage is and where and how it is effecting me. It all made sense to me as I know full well all the areas of weakness, discomfort, pain, etc. She then told me, ” Keep doing what you are doing. What you are doing is working”. WHAT???? Yes, read that again. “Keep doing what you are doing. What you are doing is working.”
She is absolutely in awe that I don’t experience more pain, less bladder control and more issues. My body is creating its own detours around all my damaged nerves. Honesty. I wanted to cry for joy! This is the first neurologist to encourage my natural efforts to battle this disease and she was smiling at me with awe.
She proceeded to look at my chart and upon remembering that I began M.S. symptoms when I was 20 or 21 she told me that she thinks I have experienced the worst of this disease. It won’t get worse. She gave me the first official diagnosis I have ever received of the type of MS she thinks I have. It is Primary Progressive. Only 15% of M.S. patients have Primary Progressive. Leave it to me to be one of the rare ones. :^)
This was the very first time I left a neurologist office without loads of fear, angst, frustration and anger. They usually look at me like I am an odd ball for doing things so “against the grain”. I knew God was leading me from the very beginning. He lead me to get off Copaxone. Now that we know I have Primary Progressive MS, we know that the Copaxone would NOT have helped me. I am so thankful for God’s guiding hand. He gives wisdom to those who ask. He gave me wisdom and in spite of the many naysayers I experienced in the journey, I am so thankful for the Holy Spirit guidance.
I am praying for you in your journey. Trust Him in the process even when you feel alone and weary. He is your strong tower.
” From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe. I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.” Psalm 61:2-4
In my next blog entry I will share what I have been doing that doctor says, “Keep on doing!“. ;^)