Recent Update: It’s Not Going As Planned- Give up or Fight On?

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“Demand your healing, Charise.”

“Speak it and it will be done.”

“Believe it and you will be healed.”

“The mountain will be moved- tell it to be gone.”

Yes, I have spoken it, received it and continued seeking, asking and knocking.  AND I will keep on keeping on.

This is big and it may ruffle some feathers but here in America,  in this land where “dreams come true” (and in many ways they do) we need to be reminded that we are not little gods and our understanding does not surpass or compare to God’s understanding. In all the authority He gave us, we must not forget that our will is still to be submitted to the Father and all that we do should be in humility and submission to Him.  God tells us, “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and  my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55

Isaiah 45:9, 11-12
“Woe to him who quarrels with his Maker, to him who is a potsherd among potsherds on the ground. Does the clay say to the potter, ‘What are you making?’ Does your work say, ‘ He has no hands’? ………This is what the Lord says– the Holy One of Israel, and it’s Maker: Concerning things to come, do you question me about my children, or give me orders about the work of my hands? It is I who made the earth and created mankind upon it. My own hands stretched out the heavens; I marshaled their starry hosts.”

Remember the Patriarch Jacob? Weaseling, deceptive Jacob, who had already been chosen by God, wrestled with God and cried out for a blessing. Indeed, I believe it was the Father’s will to bless him but in the end Jacob came out with a limp and he was a changed man, no more a conniver. He still had a limp. The blessing and the limp.

Dear Apostle Paul was looked down upon because of his obvious issue. It may have been an issue affecting his speech or some other disability that ailed him. 2 Cor. 10:10 says, “For some say, ‘His letters are weighty and forceful, but in person he is unimpressive and his speaking amounts to nothing.'” Paul had a thorn in his flesh. (2 Cor. 12) He was fully aware this issue (whatever it was) was from a messenger of Satan and the purpose was to torment him. Paul pleaded with the Lord to take it away and did God remove it promptly? No. Paul was a man full of the Holy Spirit. He had the ability to touch people and they would be filled with the Holy Spirit. Amazing miracles happened through him and such was the power in him and through him that the handkerchiefs and aprons that had touched him were taken to the sick and the illnesses were healed and evil spirits left them.(Acts. 19) Paul even raised a man from the dead. (Acts 20) Paul had great faith!  But God chose not to heal Paul of this ailment. And Paul accepted it.

God knew what was best for Paul. God affirmed Paul that He was going with him and His grace is sufficient for him. The Father reminded him that “His power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Cor. 12) God was allowing the enemy’s attack to keep Paul in a place of humility. Did it stink? I bet it did. When Paul was put in prison was it miserable and not fair? You bet! When God allowed a poisonous snake to bite him God miraculously healed him. (Acts 26) Paul chose to see that God, who was fully capable of healing him of his continuing ailment was using these difficulties for far greater purposes than himself. He actually CHOSE to DELIGHT in the weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions and difficulties knowing that because of these things he would be strengthened by God. (2 Cor. 12) Paul knew it was to keep him humble and usable. (More on Paul’s trials- 2 Cor. 11:23-29)

Wait? What about God’s blessing? What about God’s favor on his child? He should have claimed his healing and been free from trial and physical suffering, right?

Oh, what a lie we believe when we think suffering  and trials are not apart of walking with God.

Jesus said, “I have told you these things, so in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Acts 14:22 “We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God.”
Timothy 3:12, “Indeed, all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.”
Philippians 1:29, “For to you it has been granted for Christ’s sake, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake.”
Jesus’ words chronicled in Matthew 5:10-12, “Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

Clearly, most of those are not physical sickness but nevertheless there is clearly suffering allowed by God for a greater purpose.

The book of James says to “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.”

You may be asking, “So, Charise, are you giving up on asking God for your healing? Are you going to believe His promises in Psalm 103 that He heals your diseases?”

Giving up is not in my vocabulary. If the Father has me on this earth I am going to keep choosing to be bold and courageous. I KNOW the Father is going to heal me. I just don’t know when and if it is this side of heaven or the other side. I will trust Him for His timing. I KNOW I can trust Him and I can say as the Son of God said, “Not my will, but yours be done.” And ” Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”

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Now to share my update:

I have not been doing great. Around the time of my last neuro appointment and my MRI which were both in May, I began feeling like I was in a relapse. I was concerned but upon getting the results that my brain MRI had not changed (still 20 scars on my brain) I was relieved to hear it had not gotten worse. This entire time I have struggled with the reality that I have had a worsening of symptoms but why would my MRI not show it? When I saw Dr. last week she reminded me that we did not see an updated MRI on my spine. Due to the progressively worse symptoms in my lower extremities it is clear that my spine is being attacked in one way or another and the swelling is severe. She highly recommended I up the amount of Low Dose Naltrexone ( I was only taking 3 mg. The norm for LDN is 4.5mg). And to decrease the inflammation lest the damage continue to progress- a heavy dose of Steroids Infusion (IV’s). I have spent this week preparing and living life and prepping for IV in home therapy next week.

Last week I went through emotional roller coasters of frustrations and sadness that I had not stayed relapse free. I have worked through those emotions and I am continuing to trust the Lord for His healing and His sufficient grace and strength for each day. I will continue to walk with Him and He will walk with me and we will grow closer together in the midst of these “trials”. I believe it takes greater faith to trust God when we don’t understand the “why’s” and greater faith to keep seeking Him in the midst of the trial instead of outside of it.

What are you going through right now? Maybe you feel it is not fair. You are having a hard time understanding the why’s this side of heaven. I understand. I am linking arms with you right now and praying peace in your mind, soul and spirit. Praying for you to know the Father’s love in a deeper way in the midst of these trials and have fullness of joy as you walk through the trials. You are loved. I encourage you to keep going to His throne of grace. Keep asking. Keep seeking to know Him more and trust in His sovereign plans for your life. If we are to believe God’s promises then we need to believe all of God’s promises and trust that He loves us enough to be trusted. And KEEP ASKING FOR HEALING according to His will. He is listening. And He sees you.

 

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